Top 25, Week Three

Nobody knows nothin’

So, this week as I glance at the Top 25 rankings for week three, I’m bothered by several things.

First, why has WVU won, handily, for the second straight week on the road, and dropped a spot for the second straight week?

Why, indeed? The voters are just plain fucking idiots.

Most of the time, I’m going to try to temper my contempt and loathing for “experts” and “coaches,” but not this week. This week, I’m going to “work blue,” and call them all fucking morons, because that’s what they’ve proven themselves to be.

Both the AP and USA Today polls are of a consensus mind about the top five:

1. Southern Cal
2. Louisiana State
3. Florida
4. Oklahoma
5. West Virginia

The AP is giving only USC and LSU number one votes, with one voter changed between this week and last, shifting his/her vote back to Southern Cal after the Trojans went to Lincoln and toyed with the Huskers.

The “Coaches” are slightly more unsure of who the best team is, splitting number one votes among the top four teams. The Gators garnered only one such vote, which is obviously one vote too many.

I suggest that while resituating one’s top five or ten or twenty-five is certainly an acceptable practice, I implore to know just what it is that WVU has shown to merit losing two spots in one poll and one spot in the other. Please. I beg to know.

Horse hockey

I’m sure most voters will submit the standard horseshit lines that idiots use to demerit the Mountaineers:

• Shaky defense.

• Bad opponents.

• Ummm… Pat White doesn’t throw enough.

• They don’t know the difference between West Virginia and western Virginia.

I answer those criticisms thusly:

• Yes, the defense has been shaky. But, they overpowered the Maryland offense after the first quarter. Sometimes, they overpowered them to an embarrassing degree. Maryland’s offense isn’t very good, sure. But, they were home, they have a good coach, and had a very supportive audience. And WVU’s defense bottled them up pretty well, upon opting to pressure the QB. This is a criticism of which I’m aware, and accepting of. But, does it matter? Aside from LSU, is anyone else’s defense not shaky?

• It’s true. The combined record of WVU’s three opponents to date is 2-7. Let’s glance at the top four combined opponent records, though, shall we?

Southern Cal’s opponents (2): 3-3

Louisiana State’s opponents (3): 4-5

Florida’s opponents (3): 4-5*

Oklahoma’s opponents (3): 2-6

I suppose we credit USC for traveling to Lincoln and handing the Huskers their first loss.

They are good. Very good. I don’t fully buy into JD Booty, yet, but whatever.

LSU has played one medium quality opponent (Virginia Tech), one mediocre to bad opponent (Mississippi State), and one atrocious one (Middle Tennessee State). They’re clearly a very good team, so, whatever.

Florida’s opponents earned an asterisk so that I remembered to make this point: Their opponent record should be 3-5. Western Kentucky dug really deep to find an opponent to ease the whipping they knew Florida would put on them. They beat West Virginia Tech 87-0. WVTech isn’t Div I-A. Or Div-I-AA. Or Division II. Or Div III. No, WV Tech isn’t even in the NCAA, in fact. They are an NAIA program. Give that Western Kentucky’s only other win is over a Div I-AA team, and well… maybe they shouldn’t count any of WKU’s record. Anyway, Florida hasn’t played a legit opponent yet, either, is my point. (Tennessee’s lone victory to this point came against Southern Miss.)

Oklahoma’s opponents have been North Texas (Sun Belt), Miami (ACC) and Utah State (Sun Belt). Tough opponents, to be sure.

Oh, and OU, Florida and LSU have yet to leave their home towns.

Of the top five teams, only USC and WVU have been on the road. And only WVU has been twice on the road.

It matters because it matters. If the Gators lose on the road to LSU, they’ll blame it on being on the road. But, come on. Maybe if they’d played anyone at all before that game, anywhere but in their own sandlot, well… they might have some sympathy. Not from me, but from somebody.

• Pat White was actually not very good against Maryland. He didn’t seem to read the defense very well, and made several bad choices on option plays, giving when he should have kept, throwing when he should have run, running when he should have given. Despite it all, I’ll take him over Booty every day but Sunday, over Flynn every day, over Bradford every day, and over Tebow every time he has seven days of preparation.

• While I’m mostly sure that voters actually don’t know the difference between West Virginia and western Virginia, I’m hoping it has no effect on their vote, ’cause there isn’t anything that can be done about the failure of geography education. (For these people, that is.)

My Top Five

1. Southern Cal
2. Louisiana State
3. West Virginia
4. Florida
5. Oklahoma

Penn State, Boston College, Ohio State, Wisconsin, Oregon, Rutgers, and Texas are still alive. Of this group, though, only Ohio State, Penn State, Rutgers and Oregon, as I see it, can make a run at the top five.

The Big East Takes Hits

Last week, only the Orange in Syracuse had losses that counted against the Big East. Unfortunately, Pitt and Louisville both went on the road and lost games.

The Cardinals will lose four games

The Cardinals have no defense at all. Letting a guy run completely free in the game’s waning seconds is absolutely ridiculous. Just ridiculous. I predict that going forward, they’ll lose to WVU, Rutgers, and South Florida. They could lose to Cincinnati, too, but it’s hard to see the Bearcats scoring enough to keep up. Not impossible, but difficult to see.

The AP College Football Voters are MORONS

I didn’t comment on this last week because I didn’t care enough, but this week, I care.

After Appalachian (that “a” after the “l” is pronounced as in ass, not as in ace) State shocked the world on opening Saturday, the AP saw fit to change its rules and allow voters to give votes to Division I-AA. Okay, that’s dumb. I see wanting to give Appalachian State its due that one week, but let’s not go overboard, shall we?

Oh, but we shall. Because the AP are mo-rons. Appalachian State continues to get Top 25 votes. Does anyone know what the ASU Mountaineers have done since shocking Michigan? They followed the Michigan game by beating up a Division II opponent. And they traveled out west and beat Northern Arizona (who isn’t bad, actually). But, did anyone who keeps voting for them even know that. Had they heard of Lenoir-Rhyne? Do they know anything of L-R? No, likely not.

But, they continue to vote for ASU based on the weight of a single fucking game. Ri-fucking-diculous. Show your respect one week, even give them a #1 ranking. And then stop. Because there’s a Division I-AA Top 25 poll that’s voted upon by people who actually follow that division.

Week Two in College Football

First, my alma mater, Carnegie Mellon, ranked #25 in Division 3, slogged out a 16-6 victory over Grove City College, a rival just up I-79. The Tartans are 2-0, coming off an undefeated regular season last year, and have won twelve regular season games in a row.Also, the same guy who was coaching football there when I arrived in 1990 is still coaching there 17 years later. Talk about comfy. 

Michigan Sucks

 I think Lloyd Carr loses his job on Monday. I’d fire him in a heartbeat. Michigan, with the exception of Mike Hart, looked completely awful today. Hart wanted to carry the team, but his ankle was obviously bothering him. Were I him, I’d insist on Carr’s dismissal based simply on false hope. He, quarterback Chad Henne, and tackle Jake Long all stayed in hopes of going after a national title. Carr forgot to tell this trio that he wasn’t going to field anyone on defense.I think WVU could score 80 points against that Michigan D. In a single half. They’re about as atrocious as WVU’s D, in fact. 

Notre Dame may not win, but they do fight

 And by fight, I mean actually throw punches.Why that Irish player wasn’t ejected from the game in the second quarter after sitting on a Penn State player and pummelling him for several seconds, I’ll never understand. The official was standing over them, seemingly enjoying the assault, for nearly ten seconds before finally getting involved.Abysmal.This is what Charlie Weis is all about, by the way. “If my team stinks,” he says behind closed doors, “we’ll just beat the hell out of kids who don’t expect it.” Weis is a dirty little bastard. He has no football qualms, and he has no football morals. The team will go dirtier as the moaning about how horrible his squad is gets louder and louder, too. He’s a rat. A complete sheister.And his team is going to get killed at Michigan next week. 

Louisville tries playing without defense, realizes problems with that

 By now, everyone’s seen highlights of the Louisville v. Middle Tennessee State fireworks show from Thursday night. Great stuff. If you hate Louisville as much as I do. Well, till they separate, anyway.As a Mountaineer fan, I’m salivating over that matchup. Should be a 150-point game, the way the two teams play D. 

The Big East

 As I write this post, South Florida is tied at Auburn. Check that: South Florida just intercepted a Brandon Cox pass into a crowd of four Bulls and a single Tiger and returned the ball to the Tiger 3 yard line. South Florida seems likely to win this one. Suggesting that they do, after two weeks of play, only one Big East team will have lost: Syracuse to Washington and Iowa. The same Washington who went to Boise State and won today. And the same Iowa who will likely contend for the Big Ten title.While the opponents of the Big East in general leave something to be desired, other conferences that are considered far superior to the Big East have faced lesser or similar opponents, and fared less well.UPDATE: Auburn has taken a 3-point lead with just under three minutes to play. Five turnovers, and South Florida has scored zero points from them. Nice D in Tampa. A terrible, terrible offense.UPDATE to the previous update: USF returned the ensuing kickoff to the Auburn 34 yard line. Incredible. The Bulls may still be able to win this one after all.UPDATE numero tres: The Bulls win! The Bulls win! And, in his postgame on-field interview, coach Jim Leavitt says of his team’s win at Jordan-Hare Stadium, “This is a big shot for the Big East.” And he’s right. Huge. Makes me wish that WVU would try to schedule some bigger-time opponents. (For the record, I believe the Mountaineers have Auburn on the schedule in ‘08 and ‘09, or ‘09 and ‘10.) 

Big Ten and Coaches #5

 It’s early fourth quarter as I type, but maybe the ESPN/USA Today Coaches Poll ought not rank Big Ten teams so highly. Wisconsin appears prepared to choke away a game to not-quite-a-football-power UNLV.UPDATE: Wisconsin holds off a very game Runnin’ Rebels team. But, overall, the Big Ten’s looking quite shaky two weeks into the year. Wisconsin is my pick for winning the conference, but I suppose you can’t overlook Penn State or even Iowa.